Go Home Halloween, You’re Drunk!

Halloween is probably the holiday I hate the most. Call me a party pooper but I just dislike it. I’m thinking this started at the age it became uncool to actually wear a costume. I still don’t see the problem with the good old sheet over your head with cut-out eye holes. Call me crazy but the ghost costume gets me every time.

Ok, so the kids costumes are cute, the general merriment is nice. Candy corn, yea that’s cool. But this holiday does not know what it wants to be. The awkward pubescent teen of all holidays. It’s cute, then it’s awkward, then it’s stupid, then it’s skanky, then it’s a chore, then it’s artsy, satanic, fun, creepy. Maybe that makes it “accessible” or something. Too many possible adjectives. At its core, I’m just really over the $50 crappy-made lingerie costumes posing as some cheeky male sexual fantasy. It’s just inescapable this time of year and makes my blood boil!

But I digress. Feminist rant aside, I wouldn’t want to deprive my daughter of this annual neighborhood candy shakedown (not that she’s old enough to really enjoy it, whatever). I’ve been scouring the internet for Halloweeny stuff and I thought I’d share. I would just wear the sheet but I doubt my daughter will thank me for it in hindsight (besides, there will be plenty of other occasions to embarrass her, something really scarring)

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1. Cat ears. Hey yo! Asos

2. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!!!! Mary Poppins in my spirit animal. There. I said it!

3. This creeptastic sweatshirt reminds me how much I love watching Young Frankenstein on/around Halloween every year. Actually, Young Frankenstein is really a movie for all season. Regardless, maybe this holiday isn’t THE worst.  Asos

4. Just WHY is this girl so pouty faced!? You’re wearing a cat body. You are a weird human head with a cat body. I just find this shirt funny in general though. UO.

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