Why I’m Not Trying to Be Happy



I write this as November draws to a close. This Fall has been uncomfortably warm but winter chill has been quickly setting in. While each season brings it’s own posse of feelings, I tend to like Autumn’s the best. Renewal. Anticipation. Warmth. It’s almost a mini New Year’s. Setting new goals before winter hibernation. Anticipating the holidays and all the wild joy they bring. The comfort of snuggling up after retreating from the outdoor chill.

This season has been a lesson in patience. While my mind and heart are abuzz with ideas and plans, I know that things will occur as they were meant to. Because wouldn’t it be nice to travel the world with my children.

And take them to all of the museums.

Or see my girlfriend’s more than once a month.

And make every night date night.

And blog every single day.

Or just finish the book I’m reading.

But those things will not happen this very moment. Some not for a few years. Some maybe never. Because I’m practicing patience. And my children are teaching it to me. Tomorrow is not for certain, my plans are not for certain, but I am sure that what is best for my family will occur in it’s time.

And this is why I’m not striving for happiness. Because sometimes I’m happy. And sometimes I want to punch people in face. And I want more than a fleeting feeling. I want peace in my life for the long term.

There’s this bizarre notion that we are going to “make it” someday. The peak of happiness, the moment of alignment. When career, social life, family, etc. are all as perfect as can be. But I say this with the utmost bliss: that will probably not happen.

Because we are about the journey and the moments that are shaping and changing us everyday. And being joyful and content in the knowledge that we CAN BE joyful and content no matter the circumstances.

And there are those that will accuse you of not reaching out and simply taking the good from life. For not just dropping everything to do exactly as you wish; what you think will make you happy. But we must first grasp that peacefulness in our hearts is essential to truly appreciating anything the world can offer.

Today, I’m striving to recognize that although things may not always be as I wish, and even when they are going exactly as planned, things are really going to be okay.

Even when they’re not, they REALLY are.

Because we cannot control everything (I repeat, we cannot control everything!) but we can do the absolute best we can everyday and be fulfilled in that. And this is the optimism that is essential to a peaceful heart. To never fear and never lose hope that things are as they should be.

So where are you today? Because you are exactly where you are meant to be. Something is happening here and you don’t want to miss it. If that means you’re happy, what have you learned? And if that means you’re miserable, what have you learned?

And are you closer to finding that peace that overcomes it all? I hope you find it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s