What I Didn’t Expect When I Was Expecting

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Holding a positive pregnancy test. Scary. Exciting. Amazing. Joyful. Scary. If some form of fear did not cross your mind the first time you pee’d on that stick and it meant something, you are a far stronger breed than I.

For me, this is where it began. It was real now. I was having a baby. The world that I so foolishly thought revolved around me just got itself a moon. Naively, or stupidly, I felt somewhat prepared. Growing up with 5 other siblings, babysitting for other large families that we considered an extension of our own. I had the mechanics down. Diapers, late nights, no big deal. And I’m sure the whole nurturing a human being thing would come in time, right? While I was aware that things would be changing, I clearly did not realize that I needed to change the most. Continue reading